Being a Wesleyan theologian

I have to say, with no regret, that The United Methodist Church was where I once belonged and learned new ways to serve, and responded to God’s call to serve as a pastor. Then I was moved to leave the United Methodist Church, returning to the denominational home of my youth, the Episcopal Church. 

I still rise to the defense of John and Charles Wesley, in an effort to maintain historical accuracy.

Every once in a while a statement will be made by someone that claims the work of John Wesley was something other that what the historical record indicates.

Most often two statements are made, both of which seriously misrepresent what the John and Charles Wesley, and the “Methodist movement” was all about.

1)      John Wesley “started Churches.”

2)      John Wesley “left the Church of England to start his own Church.”

The diaries and conference minutes of the movement called Methodists records that the Wesley’s were in fact involved in a movement to form “societies for spreading scriptural holiness.” The supervision of lay preachers was performed by Priests of the Church of England. The admonition to commune often was an admonition to attend worship and Eucharist in the parish churches of the Church of England or another House of worship, not a call to Eucharist in the Methodist Meeting Houses.

John Wesley never left the priesthood of the Church of England.

He did recognize however, that the only way for Methodists living in the colonies of North American to be supervised and maintain a Christian fellowship following the revolutionary war was to provide an independent structure complete with priests and Bishops. (True, he took it upon himself to appoint "superintendents" and those men went on to establish a new line of Bishops. The quality of the Apostolic succession might very well be in jeopardy because of that. I am not one to judge that issue.)

His ministry was always under public scrutiny. He ruffled feathers and found himself dis-invited from the pulpit of many churches in the United Kingdom. That is the price he paid for caring intensely about the souls and bodies of the working class. He held fast to the motto "The world is my Parish" and that rallying mission statement has been taken on by many a man and woman, lay and ordained since his death.

Two years and two months ago, I began to discern a movement in my own life. The Holy Spirit had been working on me since July of 2007 when I participated in the Wesley Pilgrimage conducted under the leadership of General Board of Discipleship staff. For the most part I have remained pretty quiet about the sum total of reasons why returning to the Episcopal Church was where I felt the Spirit leading me. 

Outside of the intimacy of my Lay Discernment Committee and individual face to face conversations I have made no big public pronouncements about the return to my Anglican Heritage. Eventually, I will share more, but maybe that will remain one of those posthumous discoveries now only place within the covers of my journals. Perhaps some great something or other descendent will find the story, long after I have gone on to join the saints in glory. 

Today, I am eight days from the beginning of a course of study with I affectionately call finishing school, at Bloy House which really is called Anglican Studies.

So, now there are new questions to explore as I return to school, to undertake the Anglican Studies which will prepare me for priesthood in the Episcopal Church. I look forward to exploring many questions, some things publicly and some very privately. Will I remain influenced by the Wesleyan concerns? Will I be a "Wesleyan" Episcopal Priest (whatever that might actually mean)? Will the Holy Spirit open up new ways for me to understand God’s call for me to serve both parish and the world? 

The BIG QUESTION is:

Where will God's Spirit call me to serve as the hands, feet, ears and mouth of Christ in the ever expanding Kingdom of God when I complete the course of study?  

For now,  I am filled with a sense of peace and hope as I anticipate the rigors of theological education. I have been privileged to share the support of a great many people and am unable to avoid the responsibility which also leaves me open to the scrutiny of family, friends, and my faith community.

I depend as always, on the prayers and support of good friends in Christ for this leg of the journey. 

Shalom, 

Barbara

 **I attempted to jump the hoops of UMC ordination and learned that I was a star peg, trying to fit in a round hole. Too many points that seemed to protrude and irritate the gatekeepers along the way. 

Post Resurrection Doubt

In the aftermath of the single most important piece of world news, just one week into the Easter season it is a poignant echo of the ancient post resurrection story. If you don’t know the text or remember the story, allow me to paint the image.

Thomas, filled with grief following the death of Jesus, could not stand to be in the company of the other friends. Given the remarkable news that Jesus had been seen following that dark Friday, his response was disbelief. Men were executed by the Roman Empire with such frequency, the results were impressive. That Thomas doubted that any one who had been “hung on a tree” could be seen walking and talking three days later places him among the reasonable and rational of his time. If it were me in his place, I can’t say with certainty that I wouldn’t have been demanding to “feel the holes in his hands and feet” also. In fact, it seems to me that disbelief about the reported resurrection of his crucified teacher was a normal reaction. That, of course, has been the continuing challenge of faith for people of all ages. To suspend reason and logic and to allow the experience of the Holy Spirit to speak a witness to our heart is the very essence of the Christian journey.

The parallel to our world news is a collective case of doubt.

Ever since the news reports of the strategic forces operation and announcements of the death of Osama Bin Laden, people clamor and call for evidence. It isn’t enough that the government has reiterated the deliberations that led to President Obama’s authorization of the maneuvers. Around the nation, indeed, even around the globe, the reverberations of doubt continue to raise a call to see pictures. The report of conclusive evidence obtained by military leaders and attested to our Commander in Chief hasn’t proven satisfactory or sufficient.

“Do you not believe, Thomas?”

I can only wonder what emotions drive these calls for pictures. I fear that the basest of all emotions is driving many of these calls. Blood thirsty warmongering is infecting our ability to trust the testimony of our military. That we have paraded the remains of past high ranking enemies for photo opportunities is a shameful argument. I can only say shame on us.  Shame on us, that we need to resort to the tactics of the Roman Empire.  Shame on us, that we debase ourselves by needing to view the carnage and risk further inciting our enemies. Shame on us that we have sunk to the level of having no trust in our government’s leaders of both the military and executive branch to imply this motive of withholding the pictures is proof of collusion to manipulate future elections.

Let us merely breathe a sigh of relief and pray with all sincerity that with this successful mission accomplished we will begin to see a shift in the minds of extremists of all forms throughout our world, and that the reign of God on earth is increasing within our own time.

Shut my mouth!

What’s the hardest thing for a public person to do?

Keep your mouth shut.

If you don’t believe me, try to avoid saying all those cute little comments that come up in your head during a day.

It’s a problem I’ve had that goes all the way back to the summer of my Junior year in high School. Sitting in my biology class, learning about Mendel’s theory of genetic trait distribution I first realized some spontaneous utterance, spewing forth, eliciting a burst of laughter from the class. As the teacher detailed on the blackboard (yes, it really was black, and he really did use chalk) “Big E- Big E”, “Big E- little e”, “little e - Big E”, “little e - little e” I erupted with a squeaky mousey voice “ee.”

Yes, there I found myself the instant class clown without planning. Fortunately for me, I hadn’t built up a reputation for being disruptive, and demonstrated immediate remorseful embarrassment, avoiding any disciplinary action.

The "problem" goes way back for me but fortunately over the years I've grown in spiritual maturity. I've learned to exercise more control, thanks be the God. But I'm not perfect... like most of you, I'm still going on toward perfection.

 

Sometimes, thoughts strike us as amusing and we humans fail to sensor ourselves. That failure sometimes yields undesirable consequences. Inappropriately timed humor in a congregational setting can have the unintended effect of arousing anxiety among members. 

Not too long ago, I found myself making quite harmlessly intended comment that set off a stir of concern in our congregation. Looking back I want to place blame elsewhere. But truthfully, it was an unplanned joking comment that just didn’t need to be said.

In the end, the anxiety that my comment sparked had some solid basis, but that story will be told later.  That week, I reaffirmed an old lesson, just because you think it’s "only a joke," the thought you are thinking may be better left unsaid.

Public Person Rule: Practice restraint, “pray before you say.”

That must be why the Apostle Paul identified self-control as a fruit of the Spirit.

Sometimes it’s best to just keep your mouth shut.

“The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.”

Proverbs 15:14

“Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips.

At the beginning his words are folly; at the end they are wicked madness--

and the fool multiplies words. No one knows what is coming-- who can tell him what will happen after him?” Ecclesiastes 10:12- 14

New Beginnings

January…

the month of new beginnings. Already we are 2/52 of the way into this year. 17 days behind and 348 ahead of us…but then we sit here…. in the present.

This one day is all that we can now be absolutely certain of. We can think about the future, and recall the past; yet only in this very moment is there complete certainty. That very realization can be disconcerting beyond all imagination. To live fully into that uncertainty we draw upon the strength that God gives us through the work of the Holy Spirit.

The ancient Roman god for this month in the cycle of the year was Janus.

Janus stood guard at the door of every home. Janus the two-faced god. See Janus here

On a spiritual level it is great to think about having a god able to see both forward and past, providing protection, guidance and favor. Using the representation of two faces for that aspect of the divinity conveys in a very literal way what we come to rely up for spiritual strength.  Christians, Jews and Muslims of course, all view our One True God as having those characteristics.

Who among us hasn’t from time to time wished that we could be able to foresee with perfect clarity as well as remember fully the past?

We might indeed wish to be like Janus, the “two-faced” god, but never do I want to be called two-faced.

What is it about people that are “two faced” that I am loathe to be known for? It is the inference in modern vernacular of one who is deceptive in speech, actions or both.

Scripture clearly dislikes any form of deception. The book of Proverbs describes the untrustworthy person and the propensity to behave with something of two faces. They say one thing and mean another in their heart. Keeping silence however, is a great virtue; it is something to be desired as a sign of wisdom.

Jesus tells his disciples “let your yes be yes and your no be no.” (Matt 5:37)

It seems clear that for those who seek wisdom and instruction from scripture that righteousness includes being straightforward and non-deceptive. The righteous ones also exhibit the ability to keep ones thoughts and words under control. Wisdom among humans then, is marked by a solitary face; honest statements made with restraint and self-control are the hallmarks of a person of integrity.

When we realize and live into the reality that each of us is always in some way a public person we need to ask of ourselves “what are the consequences of becoming known as a two-faced person?”

In a post on the Christian Century blog the question was asked of pastors how they managed their Facebook identity. HERE was a fruitful discussion of the problems encountered particularly by younger ministers. In the discussion which you can read for yourself, the issue is raised about integrity. The comments challenged those that felt that the best way to maintain their professional appearance was through multiple Facebook accounts. The bottomline for those that challenged the two-facebook-er’s was the issue of integrity and character.

If there is something that you would hide from some people, then maybe it just doesn’t belong in Facebook. Period. Always being a public person demands one being able to restrain oneself from behavior that would cause damage to the life of faith of a less mature person in Christ. 

For myself, I have only one facebook account…any more would just be too confusing for me. Life is complicated enough, without putting myself in the position of having to maintain multiple personas in the social networks.*

So, with the image of Janus as a guide to the spiritual tasks for January, start this year afresh with a commitment to lead lives worthy of the calling of Christ.

Deitrich Bonhoeffer would say discipleship is costly.

Very simply, the cost of being a faithful disciple of Jesus Christ is that everyone always judges our actions and words against their own understanding of the kind of life we are called to live; that judgment is made according to their own understanding of Scripture. The damage that is created by inconsistency is the potential of immeasurable loss of respect. The problem is that both non-Christians and Christians alike begin to loose respect for us when we fail to live consistent lives, damaging the prospect of opening new relationships with God through Christ because people are too prone to throw out the baby with the bath water on matters related to church.

The only cure for loss of respect is frank acknowledgment of our faults.

After acknowledgment, a course correction is required to live the life of faithful discipleship.

The psalmist writes, “Search my heart O God, and know me.”

Here is the challenge:  If, in reflection on your past, you can spot places of inconsistency, Today is the perfect day to begin a new unified life of discipleship in three steps.

Acknowledge the faults of the past.

Make amends to injured parties.

Commit anew to a life of integrity supported by the Spirit of God.

With God's grace and mercy abundant to all who call for it, I pray you will find a new and renewed sense of purpose in your call to follow Jesus.


Grace and peace,

Barbara

*I have resorted to multiple blogs for the same reason that people write many books; to keep the content relevant and related in genre.

The price of serving

This past weekend’s tragic events in Tucson have left many of us groping for answers to the why of this most recent episode of violence against one of the public figures of our nation and evokes more of a person commentary on the event and life of the public servants of our nation.

Elected officials know that they are always public people. Privacy in many ways becomes a thing of the past. Sadly, these days they also recognize that they take on certain risks.

This whole affair is a deeply troubling situation. Tikkun has reminded their community that Rep. Gifford, the primary target of the lone gunman, is a Jew.  Their concern, to raise awareness of anti-semitism and violence toward “other” should not be overlooked.

What I have found curious is the limited discourse regarding gun control. Troubling to me is the report that now, some congressmen say they will be carrying their own handgun for self protection. . . As if  Representative Gifford ever would have been able to draw and shot in self-defense... enough said.

My own heart breaks to think of the families who have already lost loved ones as a result of one man's unstable mental health. There is much brokenness in this world we walk on. Many places requiring the healing and reconciling presence of G_D.

Christians, let us not loose sight of our high and holy callings.

Always a public person

From the time I attended my field education class one phrase stuck with me.

"You're always a public person."

Yes, it's true. If you serve a church as minister, pastor, priest, or deacon, you are always a public person.
But then, if you are a leader in any civic organization, you are also "always a public person." Sometimes you are so well known that everyone refers to other family members as "so-and-so's" wife, husband, father, mother, son, or daughter.








What I wanted to do, when I conceived the idea of this blog is confront the reality that if you are a Christian you are always a public person, and you are always seen.
You are seen when you least expect it.


It amused me when I was serving as a pastor of a congregation, that people would suddenly shift their behavior when I entered into the room. They would say something to the effect, "not in front of the pastor." As if I had some tremendous power to bring judgment on them. My thinking was, if they didn't want me to see or hear what was occurring, then wouldn't they not want God to see or hear?  HELLO....God is the original "Santa Claus"... always watching... "sees you when you're naughty, and sees you when you're nice."


You are seen by God.
You are known by God.
And, most importantly, you are loved by God.


God knew you before you were born and loved you then. God loves you now.
Psalm 139 is our source for believing this.


God loves you regardless of how many times we fall short of the measure of perfection.




But that doesn't mean we can take our imperfections lightly. God accepts us now though we are imperfect, but also desires to transform us into the best that God wants us to become.


Today, start this day with the words of Psalm 139 and let this be a place of meditation.


Be still and know that you are loved, as a public person, but also as God's child.
Strive this day, to behave without any guilt.
Embark on this process of life changing transformation by inviting God to direct your steps today.


Repeat daily..


Shalom for today.